Archive for the ‘Sarcasm’ Category

Time Travel

March 7, 2007

It has long been believed that time travel was linear and was not measurable or even observable. This paper will attempt to explain new discoveries, which will challenge our beliefs about time travel – that time travel can not only be measured, but observed. (more…)

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PLNU vs NASSCO

January 4, 2007

Today, I’ve worked at PLNU as long as I did at NASSCO: 17 months and 9 days. And, I’ve decided to reflect on things.

I’m happy to report that:

  • While at PLNU, I have not fallen through any holes in the floor, nor have I burnt any of my clothes.
  • I don’t get the cardio workout I did at NASSCO, but I don’t get heat exhaustion either.
  • The view from my Mission Valley office isn’t as scenic as the view from the weather decks, but I don’t have to don a hard-hat everywhere I go.
  • The office air-conditioner may break every once in a while, but there are no gas leaks and I have no need for a respirator.
  • I no longer get off because of rain, but I didn’t get paid for those days, either.
  • I don’t have to explain to people what a “university” is, like I did for “shipyard”.
  • I carry around a laptop and business cards, rather than heavy tool bags and blueprints.
  • And I no longer use tools that can hurt me.
  • My boss wears a tie, not a gold hat.

Mannequins

December 27, 2006

Why you should not consider dating a clothing model…

I’ve seen a few hotties, but I’ve never been able to pick one up, let alone, take one out. In fact, they insist on not going anywhere. And when you do get one to move, all they do is moan.

And have you ever tried talking with one? They just stare right past you! We’ve all heard, “No means no.” But what if you don’t get a response? Granted, I’m not the smoothest “lady’s man”, but they don’t respond to any pick-up lines! It’s like finding a pulse on a corpse. They just won’t acknowledge your existence.

To be fair, I should admit that their behavior may be the result of their rigid work environment. I hear that their stiff-necked colleagues stand by some rather inflexible guidelines. And the industry itself portrays an image of porcelain-doll-perfection. Most would crack under that kind of heat. But these woman somehow withstand all the pressure.

Having said that, they still seem rather insensitive and stuck-up when they turn away would-be suitors. They are cold, heartless and without emotion.

To conclude… the next time you’re cruising down the isle at J.C. Penny and you see a clothing model, just look the other way!